Here I sat with my fingers on the keyboard of my computer, ready to type down a title, appropriate for this post, and while I waited for the right one to surface, this one did and millions of moments flashed in front of me like a movie!
Mr Rajan Robert, A simple man, A man with a personality and a voice that couldn't be missed, who would stand out even in a crowd.
In the year 2003 Pappa took a step of faith and promised God, Mummy, his children and himself that he would change and no longer will give in, to the habit of alcoholism. He took that step and remained true to his God, to mummy, us and himself even to the point that he would groan at nights for many days as his body craved for alcohol but he did not give in, he continued to walk in faith and drew closer to Jesus.
From December 2003 till June 2013 he lived a life of faith, He became a person we could look upto. We would go to church together and worship together which made such a difference. so many memories flash in my mind like a live movie. even now, as i type these words, theres so much I want to and very little that i can express...
Thank God for technology! through skype chats we could see each other a few times and could speak on phone almost everyday. Maa and Paa saw their grand daughter grow and develop, they would talk to her, pappa would sing for her...there were a few moments where we would sit back and not say anything and just look at each other...i always wished i could hug pappa and mummy :)
on 30th June, early morning, I recieved a phone call from my brother Kunal...my life had changed...my pappa had left us...his voice said "pappa has gone to be with Jesus" it was 5am and I was still sleepy...i didn't want this to be true...no it can't be true...however...it was. I was numb...my 30 years spent with him and 3 years in UK spent listening to his voice flashed before my eyes...
I had never imagined paa without maa and maa without him...they just completed 48 years of marraige and in two years We wanted to celebrate their 50 years of togetherness... yes..lives change in minutes...most of the time we don't know whats around the corner...but we have been blessed with today, make the most of it, hug someone if you have to, say sorry to your brother if you think you need to, say that I love you to your parents even if you think they don't deserve it...today is all we have.
On 1st of July 2013 I skyped to say bye to my Paa, it was the most painful skype of my life, but I was there for his funeral virtually...later we boarded the plane to India, Grace Shifa's 1st visit to India I was happy and sad and in pain...I sighed "i wish Nanaji could hold you" since Grace was born, the photographer in me was born too and that was one picture that i so wanted to click..but yes i did click one of them interacting on skype.
We landed in Mumbai...then in an hour we were in Nagpur and my Nagpur was not the same..
We reached home and I hugged mummy and I felt that pappa would walk into the lounge any minute or he would walk up the stairs. the reality was that he was not there. we visited his grave...it was so unreal... We don't picture or imagine these things but are bitter realities...oh how i wanted to wake up from this bad dream and know that all was well...
As Maa, Kunal and I went through this phase, along with my sister in law Shivangi, our church family in Nagpur, pastor Chris and others stood with mummy when we had not even reached and mummy was alone, kunal's friends, my close friend since we were in nursery, Tanushri stood with mummy, my amazing daughter Grace Shifa (2 yrs n 2 months) Prashant who was not present physically but prayed and encouraged and my Masis stood with us and were and came to Nagpur my Cousin (brother) Nehal specially came for us, Rinku (Bhupendar) a very old friend who now lives in Mumbai specially came to see me travelled for so many hours and went back the next day, Abhijeet who was there since 4th of July till they packed down the house and is still in touch with mummy and many members of our family and friends stood with us. (I might have missed naming them but I am grateful) It was emotionally draining but we had an incredible support...people I thought would never turn up came and helped us so much day in and day out and people i thought would come and meet mummy did not...thankful for each and everyone...
Pappa lives, we keep him alive in our conversation and photos...i still hear his voice...when i think of him his smiling face i see... love u paa
